‘Forgiveness Is The Fragrance The Violet Sheds On The Heel That Has Crushed It’
The quote is from Mark Twain who in turn was quoting an asylum inmate in Victorian times.  As someone who spent a few weeks in an asylum with severe depression in 2006 (the bricks and mortar were more recent but it still felt like an asylum to begin with), the words resonate very much.

However I didn't learn about the power of genuine forgiveness until 2012 when it became clear I'd been defrauded of around Euro 180,000 here in Cyprus over the space of 3 years. The fraudster was arrested by armed police in London in May 2013 and held for 24 hours before being released on police bail which he then skipped and has since lived out of reach of extradition. I was angry and resentful for the first few months and of course have done everything possible to get the stolen funds back. I was one of hundreds who were impacted by that particular 'Ponzi scheme' and the money is still missing 10 years later.

As the quotation suggests, forgiveness is a powerful, yet often overlooked aspect of our overall wellbeing, especially as we age.  If we hold onto grudges, we can become so wrapped up in past wrongs that we just can't enjoy the present and feel helpless. The act of genuinely forgiving others has transformative effects on our mental and physical health, particularly for those of us over 50.

So I'd like to explore the remarkable power of genuine forgiveness and how it can help you enjoy a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.  It certainly has for me and I have genuinely forgiven the man who took half of my pension and funds for my sons' education. In fact, I'm grateful for the experience because he's shown me how resilient I'd become after the 'asylum' episode just a few years earlier.

Below are a few of the benefits of true forgiveness.  How can you tell whether someone or something is forgiven?  You no longer experience emotional pain, frustration or resentment when thinking about the situation.

• Releases Emotional Burdens Holding onto grudges and harbouring negative emotions can be detrimental to our health, especially as we age. Genuine forgiveness liberates us from the weight of emotional burdens we may have carried for years. It enables us to let go of anger, resentment, and bitterness, which can contribute to stress, anxiety, and even depression. By embracing forgiveness, we create space for positivity, joy, and inner peace. It is an opportunity to heal our emotional wounds, enabling us to move forward with a lighter heart and a renewed sense of purpose.
• Strengthens Interpersonal Relationships Forgiveness is not only beneficial for our own wellbeing but also for nurturing and strengthening our interpersonal relationships. As we age, maintaining healthy connections becomes increasingly important. Genuine forgiveness promotes empathy, understanding, and compassion, fostering deeper and more meaningful connections with our loved ones. By letting go of past grievances and offering forgiveness, we create an environment of trust and harmony, allowing for stronger and more fulfilling relationships with family, friends, and even ourselves.
• Boosts Physical Health Did you know that genuine forgiveness can have a positive impact on your physical health? Studies have shown that forgiving others can lead to lower blood pressure, reduced heart rate, and decreased stress levels. Chronic stress and negative emotions have been linked to a range of health issues, including cardiovascular problems, weakened immune system, and accelerated ageing. By embracing forgiveness, we alleviate these stressors, thus improving our overall physical health and increasing our chances of enjoying a vibrant and active life well into our golden years.
• Cultivates Self-Compassion Forgiving others also allows us to cultivate self-compassion, a crucial aspect of wellbeing as we age. By extending forgiveness, we acknowledge our own imperfections and recognise that we too are deserving of forgiveness. This self-compassion creates a positive self-image, boosting self-esteem and promoting a healthier mindset. It empowers us to embrace self-care practices, prioritise our needs, and make choices that contribute greatly to happiness and health.

Maybe you're thinking ' Andrew you don't understand, I could never forgive the person that did x to me'.

Forgiveness is for you, not for the person who did you wrong. Forgiving yourself is very powerful too as mentioned above.

Would you like some help tapping into the transformative power of forgiveness?

Lesson 7 of my free audio course at OlderHappierHealthier.com shares exactly how to make forgiveness happen for you, as it has for me.

I'd love to hear from you - just drop me a quick email  andrew@andrewbridgewater.com